First off, lemme just say MY BAD for not posting in like 5 months. SO much has been happening. I left off around summer time so let's do a quick catch up!!!
All throughout summer I was taking summer classes and working. Literally that's it. Class. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. I will say, I absolutely LOVE my job, so it really didn't feel like work :) I did get to go on a short trip to South Carolina with my boyfriend, Zach, to visit our friend who's based in the military there. (Side note: More mosquitos live there than humans I'm sure of it.) And that's really about it. Very productive summer I'd say. Almost 2 months ago, I started my junior year of college WHOOP WHOOP!!! - And it's a great feeling, it really is. It's crazy to think that I am almost finished with my college career. But lately, I haven't had that "whoop whoop" feeling.
For awhile I had no inspiration to write. That's partially why it has taken me almost half a year to post an update I guess. I was in funk. Still kinda am, if I am being honest. I feel like a lot of us (especially us in college) are. It's October. For us that are in college, it's midterm season. We are smack dab in the middle of the semester, and I will say, this is BY FAR the hardest semester I have dealt with in college so far. I don't know about y'all, but this is the time of year where I have so much that I need to get done and so many things to do that I don't do ANY of it.... And then I feel even worse because I didn't get anything accomplished. That's the funk I'm talking about.
This post is gonna be pretty raw. I feel like a lot of people can relate to what I've felt recently and I just wanna let it be known that it gets better. I can't tell you how many breakdowns I've had in the past couple months that have rooted from there being too much on my plate. I've always been one to keep busy. I like being busy. But I've realized recently that I can't take on everything, even though I may want to. Let me just give you a rundown of what I have going on:
If you are anything like me and want to conquer everything at once, the simple fact is you can't. I've finally come to terms with this, as crazy as that may sound. Before I was literally having anxiety attacks thinking about everything. From things I needed to get done, to my major and future career, to grades, to relationships. Think of anything and I've probably cried about it (lol literally). And that's what leads me to this.....
I have to remind myself of who is really in control. Even though I feel like I've taken some steps backwards lately, I know it's all for me to spring a million steps forward. Sometimes Jesus tells us to go a certain way so we can figure things out on our own, when really the whole point of us doing that was so He could lead us right back to Him. He is the focal point. And I definitely feel like I forget that sometimes, especially when things get chaotic. Not saying all of this to preach or to make you make Jesus apart of your lives, but He is apart of mine and it's a really great feeling having Him to fall back on.